Rest

Being in entertainment and specifically in the music business, I often hear things that aren’t so pleasant to the ear. As a professional, I’m used to it and I am more comfortable with it than most people would be (and probably more than I should be lol). But there are explicit words that people often use. We sometimes refer to them as “4 letter words”. Well, for me, there is a four-letter word that I had to personally add to the list. Let me tell you why the word “rest” for me is dirty.

In my day-to-day action items as a self-employed entrepreneur, there are many hats that I have to wear at any given moment. It has become a skill. I wasn’t aware that multitasking was provocatively neurotic for me. Even while writing this blog, I am toggling between Facebook, Gmail, Hotmail and my label’s website while answering phone calls about booking studio sessions. I had no clue that it is as attractive and self-gratifying to be compulsive about being a multitasking person as I do. (I just said a whole lot in that sentence didn’t I? Lol) As I begin my day being Dad (taking my son to school and day dreaming about what my daughter might be doing or saying at the moment) on the back burner of my mind are the things that I think I have to do for the day. Yes, you read correctly, I said “Think” that I have to do for the day. Why don’t I know for sure? Here is why. When you are a workaholic, your activities run your life. The sure way to maintain activities, are to organize them. I happen to use my cell phone as my organizer. I check my calendar as soon as I drop my son off for school to see what my day will look like.

Before I know it, as my day progress without my knowledge, it is mid to late afternoon and its time to mentor the kids. (I teach music in an after school program) A lot of times during class, my brain is split between the classroom and mentally preparing myself for the studio session, rehearsal or gig that follows.  “Rest!” right? That’s what you want to fill your lungs with and yell at me with bent elbows and clinched fists, right?  Well guess what? It gets worse!

Recently, two of my company’s have undergone restructuring. The mult-media company (2 owners/employees) had to downsize while the record label (6 personnel) needed to diversify. The downsize restructure of the multi media company resulted in the recording studio tier to be housed in my home.  When you are self-employed, there are a lot of time demands that you have to deal with. As you read that, if you are not a music producer, engineer or musician, you might have heard all of the “awww  (insert 4 letter word of choice here lol)” If you are one of those, then you probably understand as only an entrepreneur could. This means that the context of time is faint in my home. It has become the workaholics’ wet dream and worst nightmare all within one time absorbing vortex. (Did you like that one? Lol)

Since the recording studio has been operational in my home, I can probably count on one hand how many nights I’ve gotten more than 5hrs of sleep.  The lack of rest is taking its toll on my body but it’s not just the recording studio activities that are keeping me awake. I also am learning a lot about the programs on Mac. Learning Photoshop, Flash and other programs are important to my businesses. Though I’m not aiming to be the professional in any of these areas, it is important that I know the language and functionality in order to clearly communicate to the professionals. Make sense? Sure it does but probably not to the exaggerated extent that I am taking it. Yeah, I know.

I’m not sure entirely how I do it but somehow I maintain with the lack of rest that I get. “No rest is worth anything except the that is earned.”-Jean Paul. I believe that and hold myself to that on a ridiculously unhealthy level. This is what happens in my head. Rest is this word that makes theoretical sense to me but in practice seems impractical.  I see results, I experience progress, I maintain and I sustain my life by being this way. It’s a habit that I don’t know how to break. The results motivate me to continue this way although I know that I should, ….gulp,… gasp,… lawd help me….rest.